Fairytales and pierced ears

My father raised me as a son he never had. My mother raised me as a little princess. When I was four I wanted to get my ears pierced but my mom argued that with holes in my ears I would not make a good princess and this terrible drawback I did consider for a few days. And then marched down to the salon with a strong conviction that whatever there is in stake for me – I sure hope it’s not becoming a princess.

Of course as all little girls I would play dress-up and put on mum’s make-up, but then with all that I’d jump on the side of the sofa pretending to ride a horse through a jungle and fighting off the evil and unjust. I’d climb all the trees imagining I was saving animals, rode my bike down all hills I could find ending up with scared legs and a happy soul.

Before going to Australia my wonderful father gave me one of the best presents I’ve gotten in my life – a Swiss knife. My mom watched me from aside, happy as a clam, and I saw her in that very moment finally accepting that it is not a pretense for me – I don’t try to seem tough (cause I’m not), but I just love to death anything that sharpens the edges of my life and awakens me from emotionless gliding through it.

Ever since I can remember my life was a fight – my childhood was as pleasant as it gets and I could not have been more loved and cared for – but I always had the urge to fight for – the truth, the brain or the individual. I could never accept that one can bow ones head and conform and not ask for more – more taste, more edge, more borderline fun.

Everyone was speaking about the fact that the moment of the royal nuptials will define a specific moment in your life – something one will be able to refer to even speaking to ones children or grandchildren. So for the sake of it I organized a dinner and invited over some friends.

Throughout the ceremony I couldn’t rid of the feeling of frustration – to me it ultimately felt like a funeral. How can a wedding be so ice cold, emotionless and formal to the bone? All protocol and a peck of 1,4 seconds. Unintentionally I reached for my pierced ears and reminded myself how lucky I am not to be a princess.