moody

Just felt like sharing these quotes from Californication:

"Rome is burning," he said as he poured himself another drink."Yet here I am knee deep in a river of pussy."

"Here it comes," she thought, "another self-indulgent whiskey soaked diatribe about how fucking great everything was in the past, and how all us poor souls born too late to see The Stones at wherever or snort the good coke at studio 54, well we'd all just missed out on practically everything worth living for." And the worst part was, she agreed with him.

"Here we are," she thought, "at the edge of the world; the very edge of western civilization and all of us are so desperate to feel something, anything that we keep falling in to each other and fucking our way towards the end of days".

and

"Just the fact that people seem to be getting dumber and dumber. You know, I mean we have all this amazing technology and yet computers have turned into basically four figure wank machines. The internet was supposed to set us free, democratize us, but all it's really given us is Howard Dean's aborted candidacy and 24 hour a day access to kiddie porn. People... they don't write anymore, they blog. Instead of talking, they text, no punctuation, no grammar: LOL this and LMFAO that. You know, it just seems to me it's just a bunch of stupid people pseudo-communicating with a bunch of other stupid people at a proto-language that resembles more what cavemen used to speak than the King's English."

Just loved the insight. Especially the "fucking our way towards the end of the days" and the "proto-language" of stupid people.

I feel quite fatalistic these past few days, roaming the streets of Sydney alone, thinking waaay too much. Like how strange that this social detachment of 5 months made me feel so good about myself. Not too good, but just the right amount of comfortable. Or the fact that I kept in touch so much with the most unexpected people. What kind of shit is that? People change? Friends change? Out of all the people I've known and loved for over 10 years or even 5 years - none of them remained interested in keeping contact. And I guess neither did I. Facebook substitutes the need to ask how's it going because you think you know - from their status updates and their photos - you assume they're well and all. It feels liberating for such a social snob like me but also sort of depriving. I did feel something was missing.

And yet I kept in touch with friends I've known only for a year now, friends that have become inspiring and life-altering in so many ways. Perhaps it is because we have something in common, similar sense of direction and purpose and the passion for our ephemeral relationships in their infancy that we have to cradle and push to the limits at the same time. We can be so many new things, so many alter us that have not had the chance to be expressed.

There are people now who I can be my complete crazy self with and they get it. No judgement (well, maybe a little) but just the same freaky attitude of this crazy emotional uplift or downfall, always in an asymmetrical spiral. Funny thing is, it never felt confusing or over the limits - just right.

And there are people now who I can talk to about Hubble and the hydrocarbon lakes on Titan and the string theory with the possibility of multidimentionalism or the findings of neurons firing at somebody else's action... I know it makes no sense when I write it down like that but that's how we can speak: randomly and chit-chatty about physics and astronomy and science - not from a "know all" position, but from a point of a curious mind, wanting to learn from each other and not being criticized for the gaps in our knowledge or for using words that "are too smart" (yes, I have faced this criticism in my short life and I find it absolutely hilarious).

And no people are bigger or lesser, I consider myself very much a "whatever makes you happy" kind of person but ultimately what matters is - what do you bring to the table? All I need from a friend is a) to accept me for who I am and kick me in the butt when I do stupid things and b) to give me something I can learn from him/her. That is truly all.

The Romanian has given me a whole new perspective of me and I find it very amusing. The last of her wisdom pearls was: "you can't clearly differentiate between danger and fun sometimes". Whereas I tend to think of myself as a very good judge of that. See, therefore I learn something new - if not about the world then at least about myself.

Goodnight my pseudo-intellectuals, I tell you in my proto-language.